What Hurts

I just happen to read an email from someone and wham! it just hits me on the face...For the most part, we usually read or hear about people who think they may have found the "one" but the "one" happens not to notice. Interestingly, those of us who are going or have been gone through this experience, the person that we want to be a part of our life is usually someone whom we've known for awhile. Someone who we've talked to, confessed everything but our feelings; someone that we've shared secrets, someone who knows us a little bit more than we care for . In some form, we already have a 'relationship' with this person.

Then one day, this person takes on a different look and we start thinking "what if"? The what-ifs now start changing the dynamics of whatever relationship you may have with this person. The question is are we ready for that change? Should we move forward or stay back? Should we be honest to ourselves and this person? Are we willing to possibly give up a friendship for something more? Are we ready to expose ourselves and put ourselves on the line again? Do we have visions of sleeping and waking up next to this person (and remembering his name)? Do we dream of buying matching monogrammed towels? Do we start of thinking of going to Ikea to shop for a bigger dining table? Are we ready to introduce him to our family when that time comes?

But what if we get rejected? Then we could be out of a friend and a partner in crime. The hurt comes and we feel let down. We let ourselves believe that a future with this person is a possibility. But now it isn't and probably will never be. All our illusions go away as if seized by something more powerful...the power of "no". How rudely can we get reminded that things don't always work out like we hoped for.

Someone told me this: "The worst kind of pain is missing someone and they're right next to you." But we will never know that kind of pain until we try...