Things Not To Talk About On The First Date

Everyone goes on a "first date" sometime. Whether it is the first ever or the first after a while, there are certain topics that are off-limits and should NEVER be talked about. If you want a second (or more) date, these are the things that are off limits:

1. Sexual proclivities. Unless you know for sure that they are into S&M, leather or any of the kinky stuff, then discussing whether you're a bottom, top, versatile, or into oral pleasure shouldn't be in the agenda. Unless you want to sleep with him on the first date. You slut!

2. What underwear you are currently wearing. Telling someone on a first date you're wearing a thong can be a turn off. Specially if you're having dinner. Let them find out later that you like to floss your butt. Please don't have your Calvins (or Unico, 2exist, papi or undergear) showing whether intentionally or accidentally. It is hard to concentrate on the conversation and your face when all I'm thinking of is what you look in your undies.

3. Whether you're cut or uncut. There will be times later (hopefully) that this topic will come up, pardon the pun. Telling me you're uncut while I'm having feta cheese with my salad will make me lose my appetite quickly. It doesn't matter if you follow it with "I'm clean". I hope so, for your sake.

4. Your exes. Specially if you start bad-mouthing them. If you can't say anything good about them, then don't say anything at all. Numbers are also a no-no. If pressed for an answer, consider only those whom you have had a relationship with for six months or more. If you think that it's still a big number (e.g. over 10), then ask why it is important for him to know right now. This buys you some time to think of a more "appropriate" answer while they're trying to figure out their answer. If you're comfortable with your answer then, by all means, return the favor and ask them the same question. With a qualifier like counting only those which lasted six months or more.

5. Religion. If they practice or not. What kind, if any. When I'm asked I always say someting like, "I believe that there is something much more powerful or a higher being than man. Whether I call it a god or not is really up to me." Getting down on your knees (in prayer or worship, that is) is nobody's business at this point. And then ask them in return if they believe in "God". Watch them stammer. Specially boys from Catholic schools or those who are not Christians. I love it.

6. Finances. Lack of it or overabundance of it. Understand that on the first date, everyone pays their fair share. Don't assume that the other person will pay for you. Bring cash on the first date. It's easier to divvy up the check and you don't have to worry about your credit card getting rejected because you're over your limit. Try not to bring up the subject of money. It is tactless to discuss how much you make or how much you think you're worth.

7. Stupid questions are to be avoided at all costs. And you're stupider if you choose to answer them. Like "If you were a movie star, who do you think you look like?" Or "Which designer are you wearing?" Or "What kind of car do you drive (from someone who doesn't drive)?" Invent an excuse to leave quickly!

I am sure that everyone has had their share of "first dates from hell". It is funny how we like to "impress" the other person by appearing to know everything. We act cool yet end up looking stupid. We forget that being ourselves is much more important than trying to create a non-existent persona. That is too tiring and, eventually, everything crumbles.