No Explanations Needed

"Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway." - Benjamin Disraeli

So I had sex with this guy whom I had been flirting with forever. The interesting thing is we're both in relationships. Mine is probably more secure than his in terms of knowing how much I appreciate my partner and vice versa. I don't really know what's going on with his. He is purposely vague with his answers when asked. I sometimes feel that he doesnt even care about the guy. He keeps saying that he's not giving him 100% because he's afraid to get hurt again. But that's his issue.

In the beginning, when I told him how I felt about him, it was a little strange since we both know that we are in seperate relationships. His comment was: "let's just let time decide about us". I don't really know if I can break up with the guy I'm with now but I know I would do it for fairness reasons and to see where this possible new relationsip can take me. On the other hand, I'm not sure if he would break up with his partner, too. We're both at an impasse: afraid to find out if we can make a go of it or if it's even going to work. We're also thinking of the guys involved who do not deserve this "sneakiness". There is such a thing called karma...

When we saw each other last night, the tension just started to build up. I know I was flirting madly with him but had no intentions of ending in bed with him. Well, not that much anyway. I thought we'd just flirt the night away and then let it go. He has one of the softest hands (for a guy) that I've ever held, one of the most beautiful eyes I have ever looked at closer; the sweetest smile. He is an incredible kisser (plus 50 points!) and looks sexy when naked. He's conscious about his body but it looked incredible to me. And now I know where his "secret" spots are...the places that when touched or licked evoke an erotic response from him and his body.

I can say that it's far from the best sex I've ever had but it probably is one of the most fulfilling ones. Maybe because it's more than just a one-night stand; there are emotions involved. Maybe it's because it is with someone that I care for...that the sex part was not important to me. The physicality of it was a blur to me; I do know that he enjoyed it. So did I...

I am not explaining to anyone but I am trying to understand what just happened myself.