One More For The Road...

TAMBAYAN RETREAT @ SOUTH LAKE TAHOE

We always know that some good things never last. But what if it was out of your control? This is the most frustrating part of ending something good...when all you can do is watch it end.

Tambayan is the AIDS prevention/education program of the Filipino Task Force on AIDS of Northern California (FTFA). FTFA has been in existence for 18 years and is the oldest minority AIDS organization in the United States. But that's not what the organization is proud of. No organization should last as long because of a disease that affects most, if not all, aspects of our lives. Asians have the highest HIV+ rate outside of Caucasians, African-Americans and Latinos. Filipinos have the highest reported cases among Asians. No one knows why; genetics does not have anything to do with it. Maybe it's because Filipinos tend to report more often than any of the other Asians. We've known people (or cared for them) who have died of AIDS or who are HIV+. As it is, it is incurable and ends with the death of the afflicted. FTFA's primary mission is to provide culturally sensitive and linguistically appropriate care for those who have AIDS or HIV+. Its second mission is to provide HIV prevention/education services. One of such programs is Tambayan.

Like similar organizations, FTFA has had to fight for its share of funding from the county's public health department. This year, San Francisco slashed its AIDS programs funding from $33M to $11M. Due to other difficulties, including the lack of a grant writer/program developer, FTFA is one of the organizations that was not funded. And so it must close its doors on June 30.

Sad... In a city where a bar spends half a million dollars in a public relations blitz, no one can find one fifth of that to keep the agency going for another year. It's not like the AIDS crisis is over; yet, people are willing to spend money to ensure that a "party place" remains open for business! How embarrassing. How the hell did we get our priorities all fucked up? Do we not have enough bars or clubs in the Castro area? How can we not invest on the future and always wanting to live in the now? Have we not learned anything from our very sad past? Not bitter, of course; more like angry.

So prevention programs like Tambayan will have to go. Heaven forbid that a rise in HIV+ numbers be directly linked to a lack of prevention programs in the city. Personally, if I had 100 grand that I could spare at this time, I'd have done it. Because I know it will be money spent wisely.

Tambayan is composed of or is a group of men (Filipinos mostly) who have sex with men. Although it does not discriminate on who attends the sessions, most of the discussions have been geared towards Filipinos. It is a group for those who are bisexuals, gays, questioning or are "curious". Every second Wednesday, the group meets for discussions and an activity is planned for the fourth Wednesday. We have had serious discussions on dating, racism in the gay world, sex (of course), STDs and AIDS. But we've also had discussions about sex toys (dildos and vibrators), the differences between condoms and various lubricants, transgenders, make up. Activities have included movie nights, bowling, going to dinner or just hanging out at Cafe Flore or Sweet Inspiration. The best part happens after the formal discussions. It seems like we always end up at Cafe Flore. Then everyone lets their hair down. These guys are a bunch of sharp bitches! And I mean that in a very nice, loving way. These guys are what you need to tell you how good or how bad you are. No holds-barred, no niceties but no meanness, honest-to-goodness criticism of what you're wearing up to whom you're dating!

So I will miss these guys a lot. I have had the opportunity to meet some of the best people that I will ever know. It has enriched my life and has given me something to look forward to. These guys have become lifelong friends. The group is not for everyone. There certainly have been personality clashes and people have left for some reason or another. But most of the time, the guys get along great. The group will go on hiatus for now. I know that one of these days, it will rise up again...bigger and better. For the meantime, we will be seeing each other on an informal basis to continue providing support to each other. And I'm sure we will be running into each other at the Castro. It is not a goodbye...but it will be the usual "see yah later!"