Some Good Things Never Last...

I am writing today about two relationship stories which, sad to say, ended this week. Well, one ended sometime ago but the parties involved were too scared to let me know. But more on that later...

THIS MUST BE SOMEONE'S VERSION OF HELL

The first is about a "straight" relationship. She has been wanting to get out of the relationship for awhile. She feels that, lately, he has become a "baggage" that she must carry. They started over four years ago: met in college, fell in love and all that stuff. In fairness, the guy is very nice and has his own sense of humor. Things sort of started going downhill for him when he started failing school and had to stop. In the meantime, she went on, graduated from school and started her professional life. He has remained at the pit where he's been, unable to climb out. She gave him a lot of chances to get himself straightened out. All because she loved him. But she started getting tired of his inaction and had begun to question whether a future with him is possible. But she still believed in him for a little longer because he kept promising that he would change. Time after time, he failed her. She finally said "enough" and gave him a time limit.

She asked me what I thought about all this because this was beginning to bother her. I said, "move on". And finally, the inevitable happened. I knew she wanted to end it soon. I was texting her to "let him down gently" and to be brave about it. But he ended up reading the message...big ooops. He asked her when she planned on telling him all these and she said "soon" and, I guess, now is as good time as any.

I feel bad that it had to end the way that it did. I didn't mean for him to get the news from me. I care enough for both of them that I don't want either one of them hurt in the process. But breaking up is always bad news for everyone. We all can say that it's probably good for everyone involved. In the long run, it should be. But the pain is now, not later. The sting of the words are felt as soon as they leave the mouth (or read from a text message!). And as liberating as it may seem, those who were hurt get very defensive, angry and start protecting themselves.

I feel for her because she's the bearer of the bad news. But why should she wait for someone to make up his mind and start doing something constructive with his life? Time is moving on and waits for no one. Maybe this is the wake-up call he needs to get on with his life. I hope he realizes that when a door closes, a window opens up.


FAMILIARITY BREEDS ...

Boy "A" is the gregarious, loud, always talking, and funny one. Boy "B" is the quiet, thoughtful, deep thinking, and funny, too. Together, as a couple, they belonged to each other. Or so we thought. But they also decided to un-"couple" themselves for reasons that in some ways I understand but still have a hard time comprehending. You see, there are those who were made for each other and there are those who were never meant to be. I believed these two guys belonged in the former category. You can see the love and care they have for each other, how they look at each other and how they live their lives for each other. They are (or were) the "poster persons" of the elusive "perfect relationship".

Boy "B" sort of hinted about it in a conversation and so I asked Boy "A" pointblank. He hemmed and hawed and tried to change the conversation a few times. He finally admitted to it after he realized that I wasn't going nowhere until I found out the truth. I asked since when and Boy "A" said a few months back. He said he just didn't know "how to tell me". I asked him why and he said he was afraid of what my reaction would be. Well, I am certainly disappointed but thinking back now, there were some hints dropped along the way. My suspicion was almost confirmed when a very strong hint came my way while I was out of the country!

I love both these guys and no matter what happens, I will always be there for them. I am just sad that it has come to this point. Like I said, I understand where they're coming from. I just am not getting it. But far be it from me to judge them. This is where they think they're going to be happy, so be it. I hope they are happy and continue to remain good friends to each other as they said they will be. As for me, I may have a hard time thinking of them as seperate entities but I will, eventually, get used to it.


"Good" is relative and as fluid as water is. Our personal definitions and opinions of what "good" means varies from each other, even on a moment-by-moment basis.

So why do some good things never last? Because we sometimes need the "bad" to change something within ourselves in order to be "good" the next time around. And for the simple reason that we wouldn't know what is "good" until we've known what is "bad".