The Christmas Card Issue

It's been two weeks ever since I have been back. I have yet to call or text him. I don't know why and I don't know what I'm waiting to happen, really. But something is bugging me.

You see, I have noticed that I did not receive a Christmas card from him last year.

Instead of staying warm, I was out in downtown San Francisco looking for things that I know he would like, up to Christmas Eve. My friends thought I was crazy but I was leaving for Manila the next day and I wanted to get these things for him. He had asked for some of them and I said, "sure". And it was a chance to be out shopping! They were not big things: dress shirts, dress shoes...I wasn't under any pressure to get them but I know he'd be happier if he got them. Besides, he needs them for work anyway and I was just happy to oblige.

So I asked him if he sent me a Christmas card. He said, "No, I was too busy with work and I didn't have time to get you one." Okay...plus points for honesty. Part of his work is to go around the different "branches" of schools all over the country. So I can understand where he MIGHT just not have the time. But here's the best part: when I asked him where he went, he mentioned all these places AND THE BEACHES THAT HE VISITED in those areas. Wait...he just said he did not have time to buy a frigging card BUT he had time to check out the beaches??????? Whoa!

I pointed this out to him and he didn't have much else to say after that...talk about getting tongue-tied! I mean, I don't ask for much. I never have and never will. But there are certain "obligations" if you will, that he also has to fulfill. I couldn't ask who or what was more important for him because I presumed that I would be more important than the beaches that he visited. I guess I was wrong on that one. Am I asking for something that is completely out of his reach? Am I being "needy"?

On the other hand, a very good friend gave me a CD for Christmas. I have tried to look for this particular CD all over and got the same response: "out of stock, sir". So it was a nice surprise that this friend was able to get it for me. I could have gotten it here in the States but since I knew I was going to Manila, I decided to wait. Needless to say, one of the songs is a hit, making the entire album a hit. And so, the rarity of it.

One relationship is with someone I am hoping to share my life with and the other is with a good friend. If you were in my place, whom would you expect something more from? I don't place any value on the value of a gift. It is more important for me that someone has exerted some effort in getting something that he thinks I would love.

A Christmas card would have meant more to me than the entire 2005 spring/summer shoe collection of Gucci. Believe me, that is saying a lot!