Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I've always believed that what separates us from the rest of the animal world is that we have the ability to make our own choices (that and an opposing thumb).

I feel sad tonight because a very good friend has said goodbye. He has made the choice of going through what his family has preordained for him. Part of fulfilling that is leaving an entire group of friends he made along the way of his self discovery. I would like to think that our friendship (and the others he had formed with the other guys) had made a difference in his life. I also learned a lot from him. I used to not understand where guys like him come from and the mentality he has. Man, this boy had a lot of luggage! But slowly, he revealed himself as not that different from the rest of us. Once he learned to relax, he showed the fun and the sensitive sides of him. We talked about his issues: he listened to what I had to say and respected them. In turn, he told me a lot of things about himself that he's never told anyone.

We all have choices to make. Everyday, we chose to do whatever it is that we think can make our lives better. At the moment we need to decide, we hopefully have all the information available to us to make that decision. Sometimes we do, but more often, we go by instinct. That and with a wing of a prayer, we hope we do good. And that's perfectly fine for things like what to eat, what to wear, what movie to watch or what laundry soap to buy. But what about those decisions that are life altering? Those decisions that we know can either endear us to some or be damned by a whole lot of others?

Like everything else, there are external pressures that we don't, or will never, understand that affect the decisions that we make. These can include families, religion, societal standards and our own expectations. More often, these outside factors "decide" for us. Our own fear of disappointing everyone also leads us to make decisions that we normally wouldn't make if the circumstances were different. We are so afraid of offending anyone that we get paralyzed into inaction. Most of the time, we let a lot of these outside factors play an important role. In the process, we lose a little of ourselves; that in the end, the decision is far from what we want. I believe there should be a corollary to Newton's Law of Motion and it should go like this: the reaction to what we have set in motion may or may not be equal to the amount of force that we have used to begin the motion. My friend feared making a choice and thought that not by doing anything, he is keeping his options open. But now, he has none left and is stuck with a decision that could potentially keep him unhappy for the rest of his life.

Our decisions alter our lives and those around us. We need to be aware of the ripple effect of those decisions. Most importantly, we need to be strong enough to accept their consequences.